Let's Do the Time Warp Again

The earliest part of this dream I recall is standing in the living room and noticing a heavily rewritten-&-reshot version of Stargate Origins playing on TV.

(Unlike the real SGO, the costumes looked good and the plot wasn’t shit.)

My father then started complaining about something, so I left the room.

It was late August, but the weather was unseasonably cool, so it felt more like fall. I found a medium-sized lizard outside; it had grown sluggish from the chilly weather. Carefully, I picked it up — it had sharp teeth and didn’t like being handled, so I wasn’t gonna be careless — then brought it to the garage so it could go into suspended animation in a sheltered area. The Joker then appeared.

The Clown Prince of Crime started handling the lizard, subtly implying he was going to harm the creature. After some minutes spent begging the Joker to let the lizard alone and leave, he lost interest in the animal, set it down, and went away.

I was then taking a leisurely walk in the back yard. A sensation of foreboding fell upon me, a strange “time lapse photography” effect occurred in the sky, and I suddenly found myself in the dead of winter. Going back to my house, I found things were stranger than I ever could have believed; I had experienced a time warp and was now 62 years into the future. Having taken anti-aging drugs, my parents were still alive (indeed, they looked younger and healthier than they do/did in real life) and my sister had had a sex change; she now had man-abs and a three-man army in her pants

(Yet for reasons beyond my understanding, she still wore her hair long and was in makeup.).

No Soap for You

This dream was set in a Soylent Green-type near future, after the Americas had devolved into Third World countries, where hoarding soap was illegal.

The Mask

got into a fight with a supervillain who resembled Billy Idol.

They unleashed nuclear attacks upon each other, but as they were both essentially omnipotent, they weren’t able to inflict injury on one another.

Then faux Billy became a chrome-sheathed villain with no face.

Every superhero from the MCU confronted Chrome No-Face and crucified him to a crystal objet d’art, reciting a prayer as they did so. I thought to myself the prayer was too exclusively Judeo-Christian for the more syncretic orientation of the Marvel Universe.

I was then inside a dilapidated office building.

While actual office work went on inside some of the rooms, in most people were just partying and engaging in substance abuse and illicit sex.

I was striding room-to-room, lip-syncing to the Nine Inch Nails song “The Hand That Feeds” which was loudly playing from some nebulous source. While doing this, I came across a woman who resembled Tori Amos. I took her by the shoulders, lifted her to eye level, then kissed her succulent lips.

My Pyrokinetic, Mass-Murdering Surrogate Son

The following is quite possibly the most visceral, heartwrenching dream I've ever had. As such, I'd like to go in-depth relating its sequence of events. However, a month has passed since I had this specific dream, relegating the minutiae to Hypnos' dustbin. Hence I'm forced to defer to brevity in this instance.

D

and Laura Bertram

were combined into a single woman.

(I shall call her "Launia".)

Launia and I were soulmates, yet not lovers.

Launia married Ricky Mabe.

Together they had a son. This son, whom I loved as if he were my own, grew up to become a pyrokinetic mass murderer.

Various Marvel superheroes were out to capture him.

(They will succeed. They always do.)