26 November 2016

From the Dream Archives: The Misadventures of Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter, a Woman Driver, & Carrey Lantern

This is a new feature of mine called "From the Dream Archives", Here, I showcase old dreams, dreams I had months or years ago, ones which I wrote down for posterity way back when. These posts will be supplementary to my regular posts.

If I can, I will mention the dates I had the dreams on (or the dates when they were first recorded down).

* * *


It began with Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter from Stargate SG-1 

getting trapped inside a virtual reality simulation of an elevator (if elevators came equipped with several rooms, corridors, and windows which looked out onto the street). Basically, they could only escape the simulation if they inflicted tremendous pain on either themselves or another person trapped in the simulation. If the damage they dealt was too great, though, they could end up killing the recipients in the real world. So, instead of tossing some balding guy through a window like they originally planned, 

(Take your pick; they're equal pains in the mikta.)

they ended up burning themselves or something along those lines to get out of the simulation.

(It fells awful. And it works.)

From there, the dream changed to focus on a woman in a car (I think it was a station wagon) who was being followed by a malevolent alien in a car (also a station wagon, I believe) who was wearing a one-piece, head-concealing olive green bodysuit and a Cyclops-type visor.

"Remember me? Abduction of '74? Yeah, I was the guy with the anal probe."

Somehow, though, that one alien became two bizarre aliens in bronze spacesuits with telescoping stilt-like legs.

Finally, the dream became a bizarre Green Lantern movie. Green Lantern was played by Jim Carrey, who looked exactly like the Riddler from Batman Forever save for the absence of question marks on his costume.

(I shudder to think of what he would do with a power ring.)

Having failed as a superhero, he was bouncing from one minimum wage-paying job to another in search of steady employment. At one point in the dream he got folded into a giant quesadilla or taco.

(Good luck getting to sleep tonight.)

The dream started coming to a close when Carrey Lantern got inside the flexible rubber walls of an elevator(!) where he saw the outline of two men swap chewing gum while making out with one another(!). Believing one of them to be a woman, he got aroused.

As that happened, though, Carrey Lantern got stuck in one of the rubber walls, leaving it up to one of the men — who had a pocket knife on him — to cut Carrey Lantern free. 

"Don't thank me! Thank the Simpsons reference!"

The man cut him free, and Carrey Lantern came out looking like a silver-purple rubber banana man.

(Just pretend he's silver-purple instead of, y'know, banana-coloured.)

At that point the dream came to a close and I woke up.

To end this strange recollection on an even stranger note, I was woken up by one of my adult cats, who was kneading and sucking on one of my armpits like it was a teat.

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