From the Dream Archives: Independence Day: The Series/D Dream #1/D Dream #2/D Dream #3/Jennifer Lawrence vs. My Family

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 9 OCTOBER 2016)

Had a dream that the powers-that-be made an Independence Day TV series.

(The weirdest thing about it was that Ripley from the Alien films and Ka D’Argo and his son, Jothee, from Farscape were all major characters in it.)

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(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 10 OCTOBER 2016)

Had more dreams about returning to high school and searching about for D without any success.

My subconscious sucks.

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(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 13 OCTOBER 2016)

Dreamt that I was dead, a ghost, trapped within the walls of a 17th century palace. D was there, as vibrant with life as ever, and I attempted communication with her, doing everything I could think to do to get her to notice me. Try as I might, she couldn’t/wouldn’t see/hear me.

My subconscious is an asshole.

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(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 15 OCTOBER 2016)

Finally had a dream which wasn’t depressing.

Trying to describe it isn’t all that easy. All I can say is that it was filled with imagery from my home town, permeated with a distinct '90s atmosphere, had locomotives, some posh-looking scientist who looked like a cross between the Monopoly guy and Col. Sanders, and was completely disjointed.

This is also the first dream I recall ever having that was anywhere near being a lucid dream. There was a point in the proceedings of the dream where everything became very realistic — the colours and textures took on an almost life-like quality — and I willed D to appear. I didn’t want her to appear as she has been appearing in my last couple dreams — largely unseen, distant, and afraid of me — but as someone who loved me and cared about me. So she appeared, a broad smile across her face, and we embraced.

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(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 21 OCTOBER 2016)

Dreamt that I was in a burgeoning yet troubled romance with Jennifer Lawrence.

For reasons unknown to me, Ms. Lawrence decided to leave her life as a successful and wealthy actress and move in with me and my family. Though we had lots of chemistry —

(We did lots of smooching and cuddling and talking.)

— having to suffer the overbearing crassness and ignorance of my father and sister was placing undue stress on her; she was all but ready to move out. This frightened me, 'cause if she left, I would be unable to go with her and would lose her forever.

The dream then came to an abrupt end with my father telling me to harvest two cucumbers, one of which had been partially devoured by, and covered in, yellow jackets.

Though it was bittersweet and went unresolved, this was one of the best dreams I’ve had in a while.

From the Dream Archives: War of the Necronauts!

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 15 SEPTEMBER 2016)

I had a pretty strange, semi-disturbing dream recently.

In the dream, Earth was at war with a race of aliens who flew around in biomechanical airships which resembled giant flying manta rays.

These airships would drop smaller manta rays to the ground.

These smaller mantas were actually bio-bombs, fleshy shells containing a short-range but incredibly virulent viral agent which turned any living creatures exposed to it into zombies. These zombies weren’t particularly violent — they weren’t brain or flesh-eating monsters — but they were extremely contagious and a danger to anyone close to them.

Anyway, I was a soldier in a squad stationed at a derelict ranch house, and we were tasked with taking out a bunch of bio-bombs before they could hit the ground and turn anybody into zombies. After dealing with the bio-bombs, we rendezvoused with another squad. At first, the men of the other squad were friendly. Then for some inexplicable reason, they became aloof and then violent towards us, taking their weapons and firing upon us. Though caught off guard, we quickly started fighting back.

As it turned out, our squad members all got exposed to the viral agent while we were dealing with the bio-bombs, which began transforming us into decaying zombies; that is why the other squad turned against us. Something in the viral agent rewired our brains to prevent us from recognizing the undead state we were in.

Trance Loses Her Hair/The Orgy on Ferenginar/Don't Buy This Product!!!

Trance Gemini and Seamus Harper from the TV series Andromeda were on a ship stranded in a pocket universe.

(As is wont to happen with my luck, it was Gold Trance, my least favourite incarnation of the character.)

Since this pocket universe was so minuscule, there were very few stars present inside it. This proved detrimental to Trance, as being the living incarnation of a sun, she needed long-term proximity to stellar bodies to remain healthy.

Growing progressively weaker the longer they spent trapped in the microcosm, Trance's hair started falling out.

(You won't see me mourn that rat's nest.)

She gave a lock of it to Harper, asking him to weave it into his own hair.

(While the dream trailed off there, I like to believe that Harper and Trance escaped the pocket universe off-screen, culminating in her transformation back to her former, perfect purple self.)

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On the world of Ferenginar, most of the Ferengi — bodies slathered in silver body paint

— were engaged in a worldwide orgy.

(Lots 'n' lots of oo-mox. Ooh yeah!)

Then the Cardassians arrived. A large invasion fleet at their command, they conquered Ferenginar with next to no resistance. Once their ships landed, the Cardassians began rounding half the Ferengi population up for transport to offworld internment camps. The remaining Ferengi? They began having consensual sex with their new Cardassian overlords right away. One of the Ferengi being hauled off called this action a "rank abomination".

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My parents bought a purple cleaning product advertised in an infomercial.

Unfortunately, the stuff proved too caustic; it began eating holes in the floor soon upon application.

Furthermore, the seller of the product turned out to be the thrall of a skeletal female vampire.

From the Dream Archives: Plan 9½ from Outer Space

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 30 NOVEMBER 2014)

This dream played out like a movie.

The plot was about a race of aliens

who, fed up with the way humanity had despoiled the planet, altered the sun into a dim green star.

The green sun started emitting mutagenic radiation which began turning everyone on the planet into homicidal lunatics. Once everyone had slaughtered each other in a great orgy of blood, the radiation of the green sun would then act as an evolutionary accelerant to help produce a new sapient species to act as humanity's successors.

George C. Scott was in a starring role with Brad Dourif supporting.

(Make it so again, multiverse.)

From the Dream Archives: The Misadventures of Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter, a Woman Driver, & Carrey Lantern

This is a new feature of mine called "From the Dream Archives", Here, I showcase old dreams, dreams I had months or years ago, ones which I wrote down for posterity way back when. These posts will be supplementary to my regular posts.

If I can, I will mention the dates I had the dreams on (or the dates when they were first recorded down).

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(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 11 JUNE 2014)

It began with Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter from Stargate SG-1 

getting trapped inside a virtual reality simulation of an elevator (if elevators came equipped with several rooms, corridors, and windows which looked out onto the street). Basically, they could only escape the simulation if they inflicted tremendous pain on either themselves or another person trapped in the simulation. If the damage they dealt was too great, though, they could end up killing the recipients in the real world. So, instead of tossing some balding guy through a window like they originally planned, 

(Take your pick; they're equal pains in the mikta.)

they ended up burning themselves or something along those lines to get out of the simulation.

(It fells awful. And it works.)

From there, the dream changed to focus on a woman in a car (I think it was a station wagon) who was being followed by a malevolent alien in a car (also a station wagon, I believe) who was wearing a one-piece, head-concealing olive green bodysuit and a Cyclops-type visor.

"Remember me? Abduction of '74? Yeah, I was the guy with the anal probe."

Somehow, though, that one alien became two bizarre aliens in bronze spacesuits with telescoping stilt-like legs.

Finally, the dream became a bizarre Green Lantern movie. Green Lantern was played by Jim Carrey, who looked exactly like the Riddler from Batman Forever save for the absence of question marks on his costume.

(I shudder to think of what he would do with a power ring.)

Having failed as a superhero, he was bouncing from one minimum wage-paying job to another in search of steady employment. At one point in the dream he got folded into a giant quesadilla or taco.

(Good luck getting to sleep tonight.)

The dream started coming to a close when Carrey Lantern got inside the flexible rubber walls of an elevator(!) where he saw the outline of two men swap chewing gum while making out with one another(!). Believing one of them to be a woman, he got aroused.

As that happened, though, Carrey Lantern got stuck in one of the rubber walls, leaving it up to one of the men — who had a pocket knife on him — to cut Carrey Lantern free. 

"Don't thank me! Thank the Simpsons reference!"

The man cut him free, and Carrey Lantern came out looking like a silver-purple rubber banana man.

(Just pretend he's silver-purple instead of, y'know, banana-coloured.)

At that point the dream came to a close and I woke up.

To end this strange recollection on an even stranger note, I was woken up by one of my adult cats, who was kneading and sucking on one of my armpits like it was a teat.