Me & Mia Malkova/My Uncle's Antique Typewriter/Son of Tales from the Gimpy Hospital

I was sealed in an impenetrable safe room with Mia Malkova.

Usually I enjoy dreams where I get some, but I didn't enjoy this one. The safe room was dank, I got the sense she was only jumping my bones because my bones were the only bones available, and the dream had this undefined but pervading Lovecraftian atmosphere to it.

* * *

An uncle and aunt of mine moved into the bottom storey of the duplex I lived in briefly back in late 1998/early 1999. When me, my parents and sister visited the place, we found they had renovated it so thoroughly it only barely resembled the home we had known.

My uncle had in his possession an antique typewriter from 1908.

He allowed me to try it out. My mother was miffed at this 'cause my uncle had inherited the typewriter from their father, who had inherited it from his father, and she considered it a family heirloom too priceless to use for such everyday, mundane purposes.

* * *

In my original bedroom, an old CRT TV had been set up in the otherwise empty room. I believe I'd set it up so I could play Super Nintendo games on it, but there was no SNES console present and only snow playing on the screen. It was summer and quite hot in the room, so I'd opened the window to cool it down. I'd opened it only a crack, though, because there was no screen over the window and I was fearful of yellowjackets entering through the spaces in the gauzy white curtain.

For some reason or other, my parents wanted me to visit the hospital, so I took the bus there. At the hospital, I found a black, brown, and white tabby kitten wandering the corridors.

Taking the kitten with me, I went outside to the bus stop. Climbing aboard the bus, I asked if this was the bus for my hometown; D

who was present on the bus, told me this was indeed the right bus. I took a seat back away from her and the bus rolled off.

During the trip, I took up a conversation with the young woman seated beside me. She was a pleasant lady, so I offered the kitten to her as a gift; she accepted the kitten, but in a strange roundabout way. 

As the bus entered my hometown, I looked out my window; the landscape was recognizable, but the landmarks eerily different somehow, as if certain buildings had been demolished/relocated/replaced during my brief absence.

From the Dream Archives: Independence Day: The Series/D Dream #1/D Dream #2/D Dream #3/Jennifer Lawrence vs. My Family

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 9 OCTOBER 2016)

Had a dream that the powers-that-be made an Independence Day TV series.

(The weirdest thing about it was that Ripley from the Alien films and Ka D’Argo and his son, Jothee, from Farscape were all major characters in it.)

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 10 OCTOBER 2016)

Had more dreams about returning to high school and searching about for D without any success.

My subconscious sucks.

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 13 OCTOBER 2016)

Dreamt that I was dead, a ghost, trapped within the walls of a 17th century palace. D was there, as vibrant with life as ever, and I attempted communication with her, doing everything I could think to do to get her to notice me. Try as I might, she couldn’t/wouldn’t see/hear me.

My subconscious is an asshole.

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 15 OCTOBER 2016)

Finally had a dream which wasn’t depressing.

Trying to describe it isn’t all that easy. All I can say is that it was filled with imagery from my home town, permeated with a distinct '90s atmosphere, had locomotives, some posh-looking scientist who looked like a cross between the Monopoly guy and Col. Sanders, and was completely disjointed.

This is also the first dream I recall ever having that was anywhere near being a lucid dream. There was a point in the proceedings of the dream where everything became very realistic — the colours and textures took on an almost life-like quality — and I willed D to appear. I didn’t want her to appear as she has been appearing in my last couple dreams — largely unseen, distant, and afraid of me — but as someone who loved me and cared about me. So she appeared, a broad smile across her face, and we embraced.

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 21 OCTOBER 2016)

Dreamt that I was in a burgeoning yet troubled romance with Jennifer Lawrence.

For reasons unknown to me, Ms. Lawrence decided to leave her life as a successful and wealthy actress and move in with me and my family. Though we had lots of chemistry —

(We did lots of smooching and cuddling and talking.)

— having to suffer the overbearing crassness and ignorance of my father and sister was placing undue stress on her; she was all but ready to move out. This frightened me, 'cause if she left, I would be unable to go with her and would lose her forever.

The dream then came to an abrupt end with my father telling me to harvest two cucumbers, one of which had been partially devoured by, and covered in, yellow jackets.

Though it was bittersweet and went unresolved, this was one of the best dreams I’ve had in a while.

From the Dream Archives: Cousin Sonja: Sorceress Seductress Supreme/Hell Hath No Fury Like a Lycanthrope Scorned/American Revenant/Attack of the Mutant Leaky-Ceiling Yellow Jackets/Leave Michael & Heather Alone/Giorgio Tsoukalos Combs His Hair

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 30 AUGUST 2015)

Had a particularly disconcerting dream where I lost my virginity to a Russian first cousin named Sonja.

I must have been an inglorious lover, 'cause she turned out to be a vindictive witch — literally. She conjured vicious mountain lions up before me and caused the local clinic doctors to be dangerously unsanitary.

Suffice to say, I enjoyed the first half of the dream. The second, not so much.

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 2 DECEMBER 2015)

Had a peculiar dream wherein I was a character in a horror film.

If I recall the sequence of events correctly, my reluctant werewolf ex-lover betrayed me to her extended family of loup-garou. They promptly slaughtered me.

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 14 DECEMBER 2015)

A word to the wise: Don't stay up to 8:00 AM. If you do, you're liable to have nightmares about being strangled by a putrescent, undead Patrick Bateman.

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 4 MAY 2016)

Was woken this morning by a somewhat disturbing dream.

In my dream, after having jets of rancid rainwater wash over my face from my leaky bedroom ceiling,

more of the ceiling caved in, revealing giant yellow jacket nests in the rafters above.

(And I don't just mean that the nests were gigantic; the wasps themselves were supersized.)

I think my subconscious is trying to tell me that I utterly loathe my bedroom and yellow jackets. 

(Why it bothered, I'll never know. I was already consciously aware of my hatred for both.)

* * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 15 MAY 2016)

Dreamt that a young Michael Jackson

(Okay, not this young.)

and Heather Langenkamp

*swoon*

starred in a movie together, playing lovers caught in a Romeo & Juliet-type situation. The dream/movie even came complete with a version of Jackson's "Leave Me Alone" music video co-starring Ms. Langenkamp. Clancy Brown was cast as the main villain,

(Surprise, surprise.)

with Jack Purvis and a dwarf version of Jean Smart in supporting roles.

 * * *

(ORIGINAL ENTRY DATE: 12 JUNE 2016)

Dreamt a dream wherein I was a teenage student in a high school science class. Giorgio Tsoukalos was brought in as a guest speaker.

(Oddly enough, his hair was combed and neat.)